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Monday, June 2, 2008

Working On Things

I've been out for a bit, and it's because I have been preoccupied both emotionally and physically. The death of Steven Curtis Chapman's daughter was something of a big deal for me. Not just because we met him and shared adoption stories and have worked as ministry partners with their organization, but because it caused me to do a lot of reflecting on my own situation. I had to answer to myself as to whether I would have that level of grace for my son had he been the driver and whether my difficult kids would know they were as loved as Maria did if they were to die, and I really didn't like the answers. That little sin voice that tries to allow you to justify things kept saying it is different when you adopt older kids, and the situation is dramatically different, but that is not an excuse for so much bitterness. This struggle is also why little Jeremiah's passing hit me so hard, even thought I had not know his family before this time. The guilt is so consuming. When Jacob wrestled with Yahweh, at least he only had to endure one night! I feel like I have been wrestling him for a year and I am exhausted.

We have also been especially busy on the farm, which is good because I can work with my hands while I am working through things in my head. We have piled on the projects this year. I needed 9 more raised beds, a whole section plowed for large crops, and I broke the rule of mesh fencing by deciding to move it. Electric fence and even barbed wire can be moved with minimum trouble, but the wire mesh fencing always ends up attached to the ground because top soil accumulates and grass grows up through it. We spent two whole day just pulling the fence off the ground. But we decided to put the garage where my chicken fence used to be, so it had to go. I like the new location a lot more. I put in the posts and hung the fence on my own while Gary was out plowing. Well, a few of the kids were there to help, so it was the same as doing it alone only harder because I had to keep them out of the way while still keeping them in view.

thou shall not move mesh fencing

We also switched chicken buildings. My dad had built me a little hen house shaped like the barn roof, but I have way more chickens now. My father-in-law used to have this red shed in back for his lawnmower and when they demolished the house, I saved it. We had bikes in it for a while, but with no doors we always ended up with critters as well, so I decided to make it my new coop. That took hours of work as well, since chickens must be protected at night. I cut the rotting bottom 18 inches of particle board out and put in hardware cloth. That way I have good ventilation and sturdy protection. I also put on a screen door. I still have to finish my roosting bars and nest boxes, and I'd like to either side it or paint it, but the chickens were finally allowed out!

my beautiful buff orpington chickens

Then we planted the corn and potatoes. Just as we were finishing the baby stepped on a board with a rusty nail in it, and she was bleeding a lot. So I got to spend the evening (and half the night) in the ER with her. Weekend evening at the hospital- everything went SUPER slow. She was such a good girl and so brave, even when she got really hungry and really tired. The nurses were all talking about her at the desk, so others had to come see her and she ended up with a bag full of books, beanies, and toys. No one could believe how good she was. They didn't even have to tie her in that papoose thing to give her the shots of Novocaine in her foot or to clean it out. Thank goodness she didn't need a tetanus update. I am leery about vaccines as well, but that is one I keep my kids current on because of where we live. An Amish boy near here got lockjaw from a thorn, so I'm especially careful with those boosters. When we finally got out of there, we had to go to the 24 hour pharmacy, so I found myself watching a movie and eating a TV dinner with my darling at 2:30 in the morning! Now my sleep is all off and that usually means a migraine, so I'm trying to take it easy.

planting taters

We have several more things to get done, so I'll be putting those up as they happen. I seem to post in spurts- when I'm reading prophecy it's all prophecy, when I'm looking for school equipment, it's all school stuff. For now, it will most likely be organizing and finishing the list of jobs I wanted done by June 1st (hahaha).


Fruitful Vine said...

Hi Amy
Boy you sure do work hard. Keep up the good work. I pray that God's supernatural strength would overshadow you as you work on your projects. I have unmotivated days too when I just sit at the computer usually on a Friday unless the computer freezes so during rebooting time I am forced to get off my duff and do something. You said you would be here in about a week. Are you there yet?(Smile) I guess you're too busy farming to come over to Dominica to see me.(Smile) Anyway have a blessed day.

Jeannie said...

I just wanted to stop by and say hello!, Just trying to get in some more gardening my self. lol. Have a great day my online buddy.


Audrey said...

Sounds like you have been busy physicaly and spiritualy. I understand what you are saying, some of the things that I think sometimes surprise even me. Thoughts, how does one take them captive?

There is such heartache out there right now, it seems to be pouring out on many...unfaithful husbands...loosing children. I am truly blessed, yet so undiserving.

runningtothecross said...

Just now getting around to reading this post...busy too, and it just seems to be getting busier...

Between taking care of my son who also got hurt, potty training, birthday, gardening, trying to catch up on my cleaning...I have had very little time!

Have a great and blessed day!

Mrs Amy said...

I must admitt at the time I didn't read alot about Steven Curtis Chapman and the loss of thier daughter but today I did watch the song Cinderella, it struck me how prophectic it was in way when it talked about midnight coming, I guess we don't know how long we have our children here on earth. That is hard to get my head around since I am yet to meet my little one!!

a soldier's wife said...

Hi Amy,
I wanted to stop by and tell you I've been praying for you during this time. I pray that you've been able to rest peacefully.

Thanks for sharing some of your daily goings on at the farm. It sounds so exciting to me, who is a city dweller from the beginning. I know that it must be hard work, but there must be so much satisfaction at the end of the day.

I hope your little one's foot has healed. She sounds like such a little trooper at the hospital. Much better than I would have been...If I even think a shot is coming, I lose half of my mind. I can remember stepping on a nail when I was a teenager and trying to hide it from my Mom so I wouldn't have to go in and get a tetanus shot. It didn't work, she had eyes in the back of her head, but I tried.