Blessed Motherhood

Lactose Intolerant Fix

2009-10-03T16:02:00.000-07:00

Just when I said I wanted to focus in the things that are lovely in life, my computer decided not to recognize my camera and therefor refuse all attempts to download. But it has been lovely, and I do have pictures to share whenever I get that figured out.

In the meanwhile, I have something to share with those who cannot tolerate milk. We have been going crazy trying to figure out the milk issue. Long before he met me, Gary drank milk form the bulk tank and didn't have a single problem with it. After we sold the cows, though, we started to buy milk from the store and I quickly ran into trouble. His troubles started later, and Mags was never able to drink milk, but I read several items about the issue being the pasteurization and not the milk. Apparently, there is a bacteria in milk that is necessary for the digestion of it, and pasteurization kills it. It is impossible to find raw milk to buy, since it is illegal in this state to sell it and there have been an unbalanced number of undercover set-ups on poor dairy farmers. And we don;t want to buy a cow until we figure out if it will work. Goat milk is easier to digest for everyone, and therefor the milk of choice for those with milk problems, but it is harder to make cheese and butter out of. So we had a dilemma.

I had read (and found) that lactose intolerant people could handle yogurt and aged cheese just fine, and that got me to thinking. What I finally decided to try was to get the gently pasteurized milk available from Frankferd Farms, add 1 cup whole milk yogurt per 1/2 gallon and shake vigorously, and allow to sit for 24 hours. So far, we have been able to drink it without any trouble at all (though it took some getting used to because of the mild yogurt acidity).

Just thought I'd pass that in in case anyone else needed the info. Of to spend the night in our sukkah. Chag Sameach!

Yom Teruah (day of sounding the shofar)

2009-09-18T14:32:00.000-07:00

It's almost here!
(camera on the fritz, so no picture of me tooting my trumpet)

My Dear Blog Sisters,

L'shanah tovah tikatevi v'taihatemi (May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year)!

"That we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted in Christ. In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise!" Ephesians 1:12-13

"Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed." 1 Corinthians 15:51-52

"Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown. Him that overcometh will I make a pillar in the temple of my God, and he shall go no more out: and I will write upon him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, which is new Jerusalem, which cometh down out of heaven from my God: and I will write upon him my new name." Revelation 3:11-12

Amen! Come, L-rd, Quickly!!!

Whatever is Lovely

2009-09-16T17:26:00.000-07:00

It is easy in times like these to get bogged down with the heavy things of life. So I want to spend some time focusing on the things in my life that are lovely, both as a reminder to myself, and perhaps as encouragement to everyone else. With the garden producing so well this year, the leaves changing (my favorite time of year), and the cooler air calling for the reintroduction of all those gorgeous sweaters, I have so much on which to feast my eyes and refresh my heart!

Doggin' Over Dogma

2009-09-08T09:58:00.000-07:00

"Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men." Mark 7:7

When we discuss a church teaching the traditions of men as doctrines, I think Catholic or Episcopalian. I think Amish as well, since a person can lose their status in the church and risk hell for doing something the church has not allowed, even if the church ends up allowing it later (like using a gas lawn mower). But as I am an equal opportunity offender (i.e. pointing out error no matter who it belongs to) I really need to discuss the problem of holding to traditions in the evangelical and independent circles of the body of believers.

First, I want to say that I do not think anybody will be let into or kept out of heaven based on their beliefs when it comes to secondary doctrines. Secondary doctrines, to me, are the ones that are NOT stated as being required for salvation. We see in the Word (Acts 2, Romans 10, etc) that what is required is belief in the sinless life of Yeshua and his death to pay for sin, then his resurrection and ascension. Those are the three that you absolutely must hold to for salvation because we are saved by grace through faith in Yeshua as the one who has conquered sin and death. The rest are certainly important, but even in Revelation when addressing the churches, Yeshua says each one has done things right, but that they have also got some of the doctrines wrong. So if we know no church has it all right, and we know no person is always correct, why do we have churches throwing people out because of disagreements over things that are not about salvation or the working out of faith in daily life?

The first tradition I want to tackle is one I have encountered mostly in conservative Baptist churches, and it has to do with the two words. By that I mean that parts of the Bible are still applicable and others are not. You already know I believe the law is for us because Yeshua said that the law would not pass away until heaven and earth passed away (which hasn’t happened) and that anyone who teaches others not to obey the law will be least in the kingdom. There are a lot of people from every denomination who believe the law has been done away with, and as will be the theme here today, the reasons are more that the church has taught them this way than any actual Biblical commands. But I won’t even get into all that right now. What I want to address is the church that teaches the law has been done away with, and yet holds parts of the law against people. This is called a double standard, or my little name for it, the issue of two different words, as in subjective obedience.

If you walk into a conservative Baptist church as a guy with a pony tail, you will be gawked at. If you try to place membership, you will likely receive a lecture about your hair, if not an actual refusal to give you membership unless you cut that hair. While I agree with the premise because they are applying 1 Corinthians 11:14 which says it is shameful for a man to have long hair. Yet, I do not see the same application of the same chapter regarding women put into force. I believe it to say a woman out to wear a head covering, mostly because the word in Greek means a piece of cloth. But even if the church truly feels that reference is about hair, why are they allowing women (and often the pastor’s wife) to be church members with short hair? I have heard it argued that the Bible does not say how long the hair must be, and that is true, but it also does not say how short a man’s hair must be. Yet I know of churches (especially the ones with schools attached to them) who will send a boy home from an event or outing if his hair touches his collar. Brother Mike, who writes those study books I love so much, says himself that he will not allow a man to participate in church functions unless his hair is within their guidelines (determined by man and based on opinion, but still used to prevent someone from participating in the L-rd’s work). So parts are enforced and others are not?

Well, that’s a New Testament command and some churches believe that men, as the spiritual heads, are more accountable than women. So let’s look at another example. Those same conservative Baptist churches teach from the pulpit that getting tattoos is a sin. This is based on Leviticus 19:28. Yet they will serve ham at the church potluck after services the same day, which is in violation of Deuteronomy 5:5. These believers will argue with you that they have freedom in Christ to eat whatever they like (and the rebuttal to that is way too long to insert here), but my question is then why don’t they have freedom in Christ to get tattoos? Why are parts of the OT applicable and others not? The same is true of churches who require their men to be clean shaven. I have no idea where they get this traditions from, because not only did men in the OT have beards (Psalm 133, Samuel 21:13, Ezra 9:3), it was a shame not to (2 Samuel 10). And Yeshua himself had a beard which was ripped out as part of the torture and humiliation he endured on the way to the cross (Isaiah 50:6).

To broaden the paddle some and not just pick on Baptists, let’s consider the traditions of Christmas and Easter. You will not find these words in the King James Bible. These were not holidays appointed by Yah. In fact, they were pagan celebrations that were adopted into what became the state religion of paganism with touches of Christianity. They were means of worship to false gods, and now they are offered up to the Father. He warns us repeatedly not to learn the way of the pagans, and not to offer up strange fire (he must be worshipped in spirit and in truth, not however we see fit). Yet the church the world over calls these the two ‘holiest’ days on the calendar. But that doesn’t jive with what Adonai himself calls the holiest day, also known as Yom Kippur (Leviticus 23). Not only does he declare that he will destroy any who do not observe it (which he does not say about the other feasts) but also that it is to be celebrated forever. Do you believe Him when he says forever? I have heard it argued that forever doesn’t mean forever in the Bible, but that means that we won’t be in heaven forever, or that He was not in existence forever. Two words- it’s really forever when we want it to be, but when we don’t, it’s a limited forever (explain that to me). So we have told Yah that we don’t think his feasts are important anymore, but we conjure up feasts of our own choosing? Are we in the place of the father that we can do such a thing? And yet, I have been called legalistic for observing what the Creator of the Universe established rather than what the pagans established.

Lastly, I want to look at the tradition of the pre-tribulation rapture (and I'm not going to put the scriptural debate here as it can be found several other places, including in my archives). Those who believe in it are accusing those who do not of abandoning the faith, even calling the denial of it the great apostasy of the end times. Yet the Bible does not say we will be spared from tribulation. Far from it. We are given signs to watch for, told what we will endure, and promised blessings for staying true to the end, whether alive or martyred. For ever scripture that may be used to imply that we will not face tribulation, there are two more promising persecution of the saints. Where they read between the lines that we are not present, I read the actual word where white robes are given to those who were killed for their faith in the tribulation. There is also required a great deal of presupposition required in the pre-trib stance in order to make the verses read the way the supporters claim they do. For someone like me who was raised in a church that did not teach this doctrine, those verses are used out of context (and necessitate the conjuring of other non-scriptural doctrines, like different resurrections and different raptures) and still don’t really say that we will be whisked away before the tribulation. Despite that, I am not willing to claim that I have the correct interpretation because we are warned that no man knows the day or hour (meaning we also can’t declare for certain where in the timeline we are taken up), but also because the understanding of all this was sealed up in Daniel until it was time to reveal it. We disagree on other doctrines as well, but without the anger and bitterness that accompanies the lambasting of those who change their understanding of the timing of the rapture. We are only promised that we will be spared the wrath (Romans 5:9). So why are people so adamant that they will not face anything hard?

This tradition is not truly born out of scriptural interpretation, but of another source. People are willing to attack others as heretics over something no one has full revelation of because they are not really willing to die for their faith. Nowhere in the history of the called out ones were believers spared from trouble. They were run out of town, hunted, burned, crucified, torn apart by lions, and scattered to the four corners of the earth. If the Father did not spare even the apostles, who were highly favored, or the establishers of the early church (who did NOT believe in a pre-trib rapture, BTW), then why would He be so specific to spare the current church? In reality, though, He is not sparing the current church. How many in Iran, China, Pakistan, and India are dying for their faith every day? It would seem then that He would only be sparing the Western church? The truth is that the core problem is an entitlement attitude and having such a high standard of living. Americans are the majority if this group, and they claim their suffering will gain them rewards in heaven, but they don’t have any idea what suffering really is. It is not our own self-consciousness when we say grace over our meal in front of co-workers, or even the separation of church and state in our schools. Real persecution is having your life taken away for passing out Bibles. Real persecution is being forced to choose life at the expense of your soul. We don’t want to face the trials listed in the Word, so we take anything that makes us uncomfortable and call it persecution. But our ‘victories’ over these persecutions feel hollow for a reason- how can we stand before the throne and hold up name-calling as persecution when we are standing next to someone who watched their entire family slaughtered and still did not deny the faith? If we will not face any trials, why are warned throughout the Bible so that we be not deceived? If we are going to be kept from tribulation and then raptured away before anything bad happens, then many of the scriptures do not apply to us:

And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. Matthew 10:28

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John 16:33

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved. Mark 13:13

So that we ourselves glory in you in the churches of God for your patience and faith in all your persecutions and tribulations that ye endure: Which is a manifest token of the righteous judgment of God, that ye may be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which ye also suffer. 2 Thessalonians 1:4-5

Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3

And it was given unto him to make war with the saints, and to overcome them: and power was given him over all kindreds, and tongues, and nations. Revelation 13:7
He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. Revelation 21:7-8

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you. Matthew 5:11-12

29...Again

2009-09-06T19:20:00.000-07:00

I have been so busy with the garden and getting ready for homeschooling that I have hardly had time for more than just answering emails and checking bloglines (sorry to those of you who have had comments sitting in limbo forever). Oh, well!

Today was my birthday. When I was young, my mother told me that a lady never reveals her age past 29, so the year I turned 29 I told the kids I would not get any older- just yearly renew that same age. Well, since I got it from my mom, it only makes sense that she does the same. She had a birthday last week, and when she stopped by and we wished her a happy birthday (and she said again that it was her 29th), our middle girl said, "Granna is 29, too. Are you guys twins?" We had a good laugh over that one!

I think things will start to get very interesting in the next two months. Either we will see very big prophecy milestones come to pass, or we will know for sure that we are not quite where many of us think we are on that timeline.

We've been watching a lot of dvds while we string the beans and fold the laundry. For those who were studying and discussing the demon/aliens connection, I recommended the dvd Report From Roswell by Norm Franz. In that video he referenced a longer and more in-depth study on the subject called Globalism, Iron Mountain, and UFOs. It is not available on his website- I had to go to Prophecy Club to get it. But it was completely worth it. I would also recommend Bob Cornuke's video Search for Mt. Sinai- Mountain of Fire. It gave me chills. I can't wait until they make a video about finding the shipwreck of Paul- the audio interviews were inspiring.

And now, back to the preparing, including the upcoming celebration of Rosh Hashanah.

Shalom!
Amy

New World Religion?

2009-08-18T07:21:00.000-07:00

"They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised..." Romans 1:25

Worshipping creation is not a new phenomenon. It wasn't even new when Yeshua walked the earth (read Jeremiah and other OT writings). The difference now is the nearly mandatory nature of it, and how so many in the church are assimilating. Especially our kids.

We have very basic TV, and we have that only because with farming, the weather forecast is essential (though they seem to be so inaccurate these days- Yah confounding the wisdom of the 'wise'?). Part of that basic package is the Disney Channel. When I was young, I would ask to spend the night with my grandma on the weekends because she had the Disney channel. I loved the movies, old and new, which were for the most part wholesome entertainment. I have seen a very sad slide into inappropriateness in the modern Disney programming, and last night was the topper.

In what I thought was just a music video by some of the Disney Channel's biggest stars, teens were singing a song about saving the planet from global warming with such passion and zeal, it looked exactly like a worship service. The lyrics were akin to 'This Little light of Mine' and 'It Only Takes a Spark'. The call was to rebel against the grown-ups who say kids can't make a change in the world by registering your name and pledging allegiance to the planet. The singers were beating their chests, closing their eyes, and raising their hands. One time the singer even reached her hand forward to the audience, essentially inviting them to help her end the agony that comes from being environmentally irresponsible.

It made me sick. Talk about proselytizing! Environmentalism is one of the fastest ways to lose your kids to the world. If we allow them to participate in events to 'save the planet', we are essentially telling them the one who created it is not able to keep it as he has promised, and we create a chasm that makes reconciling what they hear in the pew with 'reality' impossible. Rather than looking to the scriptures to see what will happen, they begin to look to the media. We make the Word a book of fairy tales by forcing it to compete with the popular and the cool.

I have written before about the church we left when the balance of actual Bible preaching was replaced with environmentalism, and the crux was a sermon about Rachel Carson (if you don't know who this is, you aren't much of an environmentalist- and you didn't go to college in the 21st century). Even after we left, we still received the newsletter, and in one 12 page issue I counted 11 articles or announcements about going green, including the whole front page of Notes from the Pastor. Not once was there a mention of sharing the gospel. In fact, the message of environmentalism fits very comfortably with the trend in churches to make all missions about compassion and enriching people's lives. Compassion is essential. Being good stewards is fine. BUT THESE HAVE REPLACED THE TRUE CALL OF THE CHURCH TO GO INTO ALL THE WORLD AND PREACH THE GOSPEL. What good is a new well to a village if they are all dying in their sins? How compassionate are we to address the temporal and be silent on the eternal?

This shift of focus is indicative of the world-wide call to address the supposed issues plaguing the planet. It is now part of our politics and even our laws. It is now something we fund whether we like it or not, as our tax dollars pay for much of the legislation commissioning studies to cut down on carbon emissions or reduce the human footprint on the planet. Some very radical environmentalists even propose killing off humans in order to save the planet. With someone willing to die for a cause, it is obviously their religion. What else is man willing to die for except what he believes in? And they are using our children and our churches and our government to make this set of beliefs mandatory, if not yet enforced in practice, at least by criminalizing the morality of those who do not agree. I'm sick to death of commercials where young children have to instruct their stupid fathers (because mothers are protected by feminism) on the new way of doing things from purchasing a light bulb to finding a green appliance.

All this makes me wonder if the one world religion of the last days will not be based on, if not centered around, the planet. There is nothing new under the sun, so the corruption of religion we have seen before will be the corruption we see again. It is also such a prevalent idea that many who call themselves believers are completely wrapped up in it, making the deceiving of the elect very easy to accomplish. We have to fight this religion of Mother earth. If the only thing our kids see is about saving the planet, that will be the core issue in their hearts, and it is not hard to imagine a generation that will have forsaken the scriptures completely for the traditions of men. It is essential to teach our kids the Bible first and most so that they are able to weed out the humanism that shows up dressed in a choir robe.

Building Trust...Again and Again

2009-08-12T18:29:00.000-07:00

I haven't told anyone except my close circle of friends, but so that you can grasp the issues we're talking about here, I will (without using names) give you an idea why building trust can be so hard. We got a call about three weeks ago that the biological mother of our oldest 4 had died. She had been stabbed in the head by her live-in boyfriend in a fight over drugs. The person who called was a friend of hers, but not someone I know at all, so I looked the story up online and found all kinds of links to it (it hit even big news sources). They only said she had been flown to a hospital and was in ICU, but they were older articles, and unless they did a follow-up, I had no more info. To make matters worse, the friend asked if I knew where her mother was currently living because until they found a family member, no info (or body) could be released.

We felt it important to let the kids have some tangible evidence of her death if at all possible because of other times when they were left hanging. Many of the people connected to their past have a tendency to blurt things out in front of them. Three years ago we ran into a cousin who said "Did you hear ______(biological father) is dead? Got himself shot. Always knew it would be something like that". We hadn't heard anything at all about or from him since the visitation stopped, so it was a complete out-of-nowhere announcement. The kids were very upset. We tried to verify the story but never could find out if it did happen, and every once in a while they ask if we've heard anything back. It has left a giant question in their minds that has to be answered. We knew telling them of their mother's demise without some kind of proof would just deepen the lost feeling, but because of those people blurting things out in front of them, we decided we better tell them anyway.

It was tough to say the least, trying to be honest without scaring them, and letting them know what happened without too many details. They all cried, though the youngest two readily admitted they didn't remember anything about her or even what she looked like. It was a stressful situation which got ever more stressful when I started to try and find a death notices or funeral arrangements in order to give them the closure I was looking for...and couldn't find anything. I started following what little info I had and finally got a hold of patient information at a hospital where I was told she was still listed in serious condition. STILL? I was shocked to hear she was there at all because we had been told she was dead! Even weirder was when I called back two days later and was told she had been discharged! Turns out she was moved to a nursing home, but even that took a week to find out. So we had to tell the kids that, no, she wasn't in fact dead. Talk about creating a problem! These kids have enough trouble trusting us, which is why I have promised them that I will never lie to them about anything. But to look at this from their perspective, we did lie. They probably thought I made it up just to be mean or to try and get them to forget her. I mean, what are the chances of adults just being mistaken over something like THIS?

And as with every issue, it spills over into everyday life. One of the kids will have a spider on their pant leg and I'll say "Wait, you have a bug on you". But even after I remove it, they have to check themselves to make sure I really did remove it- even to taking the pants off to check. Or if I say "I didn't put the bowls away yet", they still go to the cupboard first, and then say "I was just checking". Now imagine the trust issues after you've been told your mother died only to find out it wasn't true. Sadly, all we can do is continue to be honest Abe with them, always proving that I meant what I said about not lying. And every situation will have to be weighed, because while there is the chance of us giving them wrong info based on what others say, I think the impact of hearing it from a stranger in public is even worse.

Foster Kids Rule the World

2009-08-04T09:01:00.000-07:00

Odd title, isn’t it? But it has been on my mind (and in my face) for about a year now, and in sticking with my promise to be honest about all the facets of fostering/adopting, I thought I ought to share.

When kids are taken into custody by the county (though the removal has to be done by a police officer), they are suddenly and acutely aware of a whole different dimension that exists in our society. It is the dimension where adults take everything a kid says as gospel truth. It is, in a way, a necessity, because you can’t really expect parents to be forthcoming about what has gone on in their home when you have just taken away their kids- especially if they face charges as a result. Still, the initial placement into care and the subsequent physical examination, psychological evaluation, and general ‘kid-glove’ approach of the whole foster care team send a very loud silent message about who is running the show when it comes to foster care. Everyone shows such pity for the kids, often giving them a ‘free pass’ on their behaviors. The kids pick up on this very quickly.

To complicate matters, the people caring for foster kids (i.e. foster parents) have a very limited scope of authority over them. They must get approval from a casework supervisor before having the kids treated at an emergency room (even if it is just for strep throat), are required to follow the county’s determination on education for the child, and cannot discipline the kids unless the disciplinary action is within the county guidelines. As I mentioned before, it is important to maintain the role of birth parents as the authority, because the goal is to send the kids home. It does create, however, an environment where no one is truly in full authority over the kids. The birth parents have say on haircuts and school activities, but can’t even take their kids home at the end of the day. The caseworker sets the visitation schedule and oversees the foster parents, but does not have daily interaction with the kids. The foster parents do the leg work of daily care, but are scrutinized on a constant basis. It gives the kids ultimate control, because all they have to do is play the authority figures against one another.

I have yet to meet a foster kid who did not take advantage of this situation. That is not, however, an indication of the depravity in which they were raised, because not all kids are being abused or neglected. Foster care comes about for many different reasons, and even kids whom you might classify as having a ‘normal’ family life will play the system. The Word says that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, and it is so true. Give that foolishness fuel, and it will manifest in even the best of kids. Sadly, adopting those foster kids does not really change anything. The names on the birth certificate change, and the caseworker is no longer a regular visitor, but the kids have not forgotten the way you as foster parents were under the thumb of the system. They will continue to try and test the boundaries, knowing they have the fall-back of crying wolf to get them out of it if they push too far.

Here is an example: You adopt a child who was the center of attention at home. I mean seriously the center of attention- to lengths I will not disclose here. The child is removed from that home and sent to you along with her siblings. You, not understanding the unspoken rules of the home they lived in, give equal attention to all the children. The golden child becomes enraged and decides to use your lowly status against you. She begins to refuse to eat in an attempt to get attention that is being misdirected to other children. You ignore the behavior, knowing that to engage her is to start down a road you cannot come back from. She continues to refuse to eat, testing to see if you will give in eventually. You hold your ground, knowing that to give in to her now is to set up a life-long meme in her mind of using threat to get what she wants (the threat is getting you in trouble and having all the kids removed from you, and they know this well because every time they see the caseworker she asks if they are happy in your home and if they feel safe). Just when she is about to give up on this method of terrorism, the doctor notices that she is not even registering on the growth chart for her age, and gives you instructions to feed her whatever she will eat. Because you now have the threat of being in trouble with the doctor who can make a call to child services and turn you in for ‘abuse’, you have been put under the heel of a child. Life becomes a living nightmare as you take the child grocery shopping, watching her fill the cart with donuts and chips and cookies, and you scramble to not only pay for a whole different set of food, but to try and keep the other kids in your house from mutiny over the fact that their sister gets to pick and choose and you are making them eat squash and salad and baked potatoes. She is getting that special attention she felt belonged to her after all.

But I haven’t even told you the worst part, yet. There is a double-edged sword when it comes to society and the ‘it takes a village’ mentality. When that child becomes sick from lack of vitamins and fiber, and starts to gain weight to the point of being fat, you are responsible for that as well. Parents in general are walking a tightrope anymore, but it is especially true for foster/adoptive parents whose kids have no loyalty to them and who will manipulate any situation for personal gain. Parents have had their children removed because they are too small and have no muscle tone, and parents have had kids removed for being overweight and unfit. And everyone involved knows that if they come to take the neglected child (because that’s what they classify underweight/overweight kids as) they take ALL of your kids and ask questions later. I’ve had the kids say to me at times ‘if you get in trouble for _____, they’ll take Maggie and Chloë too’. It is a taunt. Sadly, it is very true.

Then you have the time when kids get older and begin to think of themselves as adults. I do not believe in teenage rebellion as a physical phase of life but rather a cultural phenomenon. Too many kids in other countries go through the teenage years without rebellion for it to be a biological change. Instead, we have made kids rulers of their own world when they are not ready to make adult decisions, and the result is a constant struggle between them and the parents who cannot control them yet are still liable for them. This cultural disease we have created is ten times worse in foster/adopted kids because they have nothing to lose. They are fully aware of the fact that you cannot physically make them do anything, and they exploit it. Here’s another example:

Your 13 year old daughter does not want to do anything. I mean literally anything. She says she intended to spend her summer in bed reading. You say no, because not only is that not fair to anyone else, but it is not healthy to stay indoors all the time doing nothing. You try your best ‘member-of-the-family, we need teamwork’ speech, and assign a list of chores for each kid. Because she is the oldest, you have given her the task of mowing the lawn. She doesn’t want to mow the lawn, so she sabotages the job- mowing down your sapling trees, missing large strips of grass, and finally running over a rock which breaks the mower and gets her out of the job completely. So you assign her the job of weeding the garden because, after all, she does eat. Well, you should have known better, because she feigns stupidity and pulls up the plants. OK, fine. Maybe letting her work inside will be better. You ask her to sort the laundry and put it in rooms (we let everyone fold their own, so there wasn’t even folding involved). She puts things in the wrong places on purpose and when you come in to check, there is still a pile of clothes in the living room but she is in bed reading. You are about to blow like Krakatoa at this point, but try diplomacy. You ask her what it is that she would like to do, besides reading, since she is a member of the family and needs to contribute. She says cooking. Well, you can’t just turn her loose in the kitchen because she has no experience, so you leave the outside work to come in and make lunch together. The menu says Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes, so you ask her to start peeling the potatoes. She is clearly miffed, and cuts so much off that the potatoes look like water chestnuts. When you ask, you are informed that she just wanted to stand at the stove and stir. By this point, you’ve had it and inform her that she is not going to tell you what she will and will not do. She starts to throw a tantrum, which scares the baby because why would someone as big as that be acting that way? So you say ‘go throw your fit in the barn where you won’t scare the baby’.

So off she goes to the barn. She is gone all day and doesn’t come back, but you figure she is letting off steam the way she does when she ‘needs to be alone’. Dark falls, and you can see her in the haymow from the yard, but she still will not come home. It’s a stand-off, and again, your common sense says that if you give in, you will be setting her up for a lifetime of believing the way to handle a situation is through threat (that, and your husband demands that you not go get her because she has, in effect, run away from home and has to come back on her own). Lucky for you, your neighbor happens to have just finished her degree in social work and finds your child hanging out the barn window wailing like a baby. Long story short, you get a call that your daughter does not want to come home and that neighbor spends the night debating about whether or not to report you to child services. So guess who has gotten her way as far as lying in bed and reading all summer? Because of the same threat that if we get in trouble, everyone will be taken away. YET, come fall when she has a vitamin D deficiency and we take her to the hospital with a violent flu, we will be responsible.

Foster kids rule the world.

“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy.” 2 Timothy 3:1-2

“And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient, Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents.” Romans 1:28-30

“And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.” Matthew 10:21

Brother in Arms

2009-07-30T16:56:00.000-07:00

It hasn't happened yet, but I am sure I will hear considerable back-lash for saying it is fruitless to pray for this country anymore. Many of the people who feel that way are those who believe America, like the Church, is not the receptor of Yah's wrath, so nothing bad can happen to us. Unfortunately, those who hold to this view are the first to lose their faith when something does go wrong. But alongside them there is a group of people, like my brother the soldier, who are willing to risk their lives to defend the freedoms we have and to keep us safe from all enemies. This is such a noble sacrifice that I do not want to give anyone time to believe I am belittling it. Rather, it is the government we now serve (though it is supposed to be the other way around) who make void the long history of personal valor. And I want to explain why so that you see I am not at ALL against the premise of what our country is supposed to be.

Firstly, we are no longer a republic. We were never a democracy, though many use the term democratic to refer to the US. What we are now is an oligarchy. We have thousands upon thousands of young men and women willing to risk their lives because they understand that if we do not meet the enemy on his turf, he will meet us on ours. YET, those thousands of soldiers do not make the decisions regarding their deployment and service. Those decisions are made by the elite few (definition of oligarchy). I have yet to know a soldier who went to Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, or Kuwait, who felt it was unnecessary. I'm sure there are some (there are also soldiers who sign up to get the free education and are then shocked when they are called to active duty), but the military personnel I have heard discuss the situations say we NEED to be there. If it were up to them, we would continue to be there for however long it takes. Not so with our messiah monarch. He has determined their risk is pointless and has promised (in order to get elected) to pull them out by an arbitrarily appointed date.

The idea with a republic is supposed to be that an elected body does the legwork for the masses, based on what they desire. Congress and the Senate quit caring long ago what the people want, and instead have decided it is their duty to decide for us because we don't know enough to make decision for ourselves. The 'stance' of America on such things as the war on terror, the nation of Israel, and the role of the government in such things as the economy and health care are FAR AND AWAY from the views being promoted and pushed upon us by the elected few. We are no longer really free, and unless a revolt overthrows the entire city of DC (and that would be tough because they have taken away our right to bear arms) we are destined for ruination.

Secondly, Yah never spared a nation from judgment based on the holy people within it. He did make that offer to Lot, though it proved his point of why there was no need to save the nation. Instead, he told Lot to get out, thereby assuring his safety. Other times, he brought judgment down hard on the nation while protecting those who belonged to him. This was true in Egypt. He didn't stop the plagues because His people were there, but put a shield around them so that the plagues didn't touch them. A third scenario is that he allows His people to be captured, but he goes along with them into captivity in order to fulfill his plan. Daniel was allowed to be carried off to captivity. Joseph was allowed to be taken into captivity. Both men were instrumental in saving the elect from that position in which they found themselves. Other time Yah allowed His own to be killed while standing up for the truth, thereby proving that his promises, while sometimes covering this life, are meant to be eternal and that he alone can conquer death in order to fulfill a vow.

I can forsee all of these scenarios as possibilities in out nation's future. By all means, pray for the military who is keeping us from toppling over that line into world chaos. Intercede for those in government who have no taste for politics and are truly trying to serve the L-rd and the people. Stand up for what is right- demonstrate, send letters, make calls. My point was only that our government has become so corrupt, and many of the people who voted them into office are now so depraved, that to ask for further mercy on our nation is futile and sinful. If the point of discipline is to bring people back to the truth, who are we to see them wandering away and ask that they not be corrected? If the soldiers are willing to risk their lives to save another, shouldn't we be all the more willing to risk our temporal bodies for the eternal salvation of many? Truly, what is the motive for putting off discipline if not for one's personal comfort? Even if we manage to take back the reins of the nation, if we do not turn away from the sins that have put us here, we are making our 'way of life' a priority over obedience to the Father. Either way, the only answer for believers is to come out of her. We must be separated from the system of this world if we do not want to be partakers of her punishment.

"And if they be bound in fetters, and be holden in cords of affliction; Then he sheweth them their work, and their transgressions that they have exceeded. He openeth also their ear to discipline, and commandeth that they return from iniquity. If they obey and serve him, they shall spend their days in prosperity, and their years in pleasures." Job 36:8-11

Baruch Haba B'shem Adonai

Judgment

2009-07-29T12:56:00.000-07:00

Whether you agree with it or not, the truth of the Word says that the loving Father chastises his children. The church used to agree with this statement, and only seems to have turned away from the wisdom of it after the advent of modern psychology, which taught parents that their children knew what they needed and should be gently guided through life rather than instructed in righteousness and 'chastened betimes' to save his soul. Now we are so preoccupied by the idea of damaging someone's self-esteem, we never correct. Even our judicial system is a joke. Because of budget cuts, and overcrowding as a result of our lack of morality in putting to death child murderers and the sexually depraved, criminals are being freed in California (I am not picking on one state- they are just the only ones being honest about it).

This news should not be a surprise, though, in a nation where 'freedom' has become about fulfilling the lusts of our flesh regardless of the effect it has on others. What surprises me are the number of people calling for prayers for our nation and our president. Why?!?! Or have they not read the scriptures, which clearly tell us that if He has sent judgment on a nation to try and turn them away from their sin, he will not hear their prayers until they have turned away form those sins?

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; THEN will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

He also warns the prophet Jeremiah not to pray for a nation that is in rebellion, because he will not listen!

"Therefore pray not thou for this people, neither lift up a cry or prayer for them: for I will not hear them in the time that they cry unto me for their trouble." Jeremiah 11:14

We are facing our judgment for what we have done, and no amount of praying or patriotism or wishing is going to do anything to stop the scourging of the Father until the people realize what they are doing and STOP! That does not mean that we should stop praying altogether, but if you are praying for mercy on America you are not being heard.

Every time we as a nation receive discipline, our answer is to increase our rebellion, which only brings more judgment! In a horrible news story this week, a mother was found to have eaten parts of her newborn baby. The discovery of this scene has reportedly severely impacted those officials who had to collect evidence. Everyone asks the 'unanswerable' question of why, but they do not really look for that answer in the place it can be found. Rather than turn to the Father for guidance, they have likely already declared it a result of post-partum depression and placed the woman on anti-depressant (if not anti-psychotic) drugs. Some even utter that all-too-familiar phrase 'How could God let this happen?' I can give you a few answers right from God himself:

"And it shall come to pass, if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe and to do all his commandments which I command thee this day, that the LORD thy God will set thee on high above all nations of the earth: And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God...

But it shall come to pass, if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe to do all his commandments and his statutes which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee...And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters, which the LORD thy God hath given thee...The tender and delicate woman among you, which would not adventure to set the sole of her foot upon the ground for delicateness and tenderness, her eye shall be evil toward the husband of her bosom, and toward her son, and toward her daughter, and toward her young one that cometh out from between her feet, and toward her children which she shall bear: for she shall eat them for want of all things secretly in the siege and straitness, wherewith thine enemy shall distress thee in thy gates."

In fact, if you read through Deuteronomy 28, it reads like a laundry list of our news headlines for the past 50 years, and the future doesn't look very promising! Well, those words were written for Israel and not us, right? First, Hebrews clearly says that we have become part of Israel by our grafting in to the olive tree. Secondly, if you want more proof, how about other books of prophecy that we believe are playing out before our very eyes?

"And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend in the siege and straitness, wherewith their enemies, and they that seek their lives, shall straiten them." Jeremiah 19:9

"They have dealt treacherously against the LORD: for they have begotten strange children: now shall a month devour them with their portions...When Ephraim saw his sickness, and Judah saw his wound, then went Ephraim to the Assyrian, and sent to king Jareb: yet could he not heal you, nor cure you of your wound. For I will be unto Ephraim as a lion, and as a young lion to the house of Judah: I, even I, will tear and go away; I will take away, and none shall rescue him." Hosea 5:7, 13-14

This warning in Hosea speaks of the tribe of Ephraim, and while I'm not going to get into the whole two-house theology, it is true that Ephraim is a type of the church by representing the adopted gentile sons. And doesn't it sound just like America to find ourselves in sickness, and rather than try to figure out where that sickness came from, we run looking for a cure-all to get rid of it. If we don't know why something happens, how can we prevent it from happening again?

What are we under judgment for? To start with, we have turned away from the commandments of Yah. People are living sinful, decadent lives and still claiming to be christians. So we're guilty of sin and blasphemy. We made the last election about securing our way of life (money) rather than about protecting life (so there, too- why are we surprised at a news story about a mother killing her child when it happens thousands of times every day?). We are murderous and without natural affections. We have turned our backs on Israel, our 'mother' nation, and even taken up collections to help the Palestinians fight the Jews in our churches!!!!!!! But my personal opinion on when we crossed the point of no return was when Obama, who represents us, stood up and summarily declared that America is not a christian nation. The favor we received in the past, our very establishment as a country, were based on obedience to the Word of the L-rd. We have now forsaken our first love and turned to idols.

It should be no surprise that a self-declared godless nation turns to depravity. Without truth, good and evil become ambiguous terms. The Chinese have begun to make a soup from fetus parts. This 'delicacy' is reported to have many health benefits, and sells for $40 a serving.

(If you are fasting for Tisha B'Av, this is not only something else to mourn over, but something that should help you lose your appetite). Within this article is reference to another scriptural instance of eating children (2 Kings 6). What is the ultimate outcome in that book of history? Captivity. Why is America absent from prophecy? Some speculate that we are too far away to be present for the 'final showdown' except by military presence. Others feel we may be the New Babylon spoken of. I believe we are absent because we will not be a sovereign nation in the end! We have been disciplined repeatedly, and rather than learn from it, we have set our hearts against the Father. We have declared we do not know Him, and thereby sealed our fate.

Don't waste time praying for this country. Rather, heed the warning we have been given:

"Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues." Revelation 18:4

The Breaking Dam

2009-07-10T22:12:00.000-07:00

Well, for someone who hasn’t felt like posting for so long, I’ve got ONE LONG POST to put up today. It is truly like a breaking dam, because it is a culmination of things that I have been noticing and studying for about a year. And they all go together, so there’s no way to talk about just one at a time. Bear with me, too, because it will be difficult to bring these things together on paper the way they come together in the lightning fast brain. There will surely be moments when you wonder if I have begun to write fiction, but I hope to make it cohesive by the end.

The first thing I want to mention is the scriptural command for testing a prophet to see if he/she is truly from the Father or not. There are two criteria, though many people stop at the first. Deuteronomy 13 says that a true prophet’s words will be proven. In other words, if he says something is going to happen, it does. But that is not enough, because even the demons can give someone a prophecy and then make it come true. The second test is to make sure that what the prophet says and does lines up with the Word. If a prophet says something will happen, and it does, but then he tries to lead you away from the Bible, he is a false prophet. This is important, and we’ll come back to it in a bit.

Next is something I have been discussing with Laurie for a while (I am just referencing where the topic came up- she does not necessarily agree with anything I am saying here). We have both noticed a trend recently in Hollywood to use movies with certain amounts of prophecy in them. The problem is that usually there is a little tiny bit of something from the Bible followed by a ton of anti-scriptural claptrap. At first I speculated that it was merely to draw people and their money to the box office because prophecy is currently a hot topic, but now I believe it is part of the whole deception of the end times. Some of the movies we discussed were The Day the Earth Stood Still, Angels and Demons, and Knowing (and now the previews for 2012 due out in November). Anybody with a passing knowledge of scripture can likely pick out the connotations in these movies. The disturbing part is that those who aren’t acutely knowledgeable in the scriptures can very easily be led astray. This is another reason is it VITALLY IMPORTANT that you know your Bible.

One very prominent idea in the movies and media right now is that of alien-led exodus from the planet. The premise is generally that we have destroyed the earth through our actions (global warming, pollution, religious based wars, etc.) and the aliens must come down and either save us all, or ‘rapture’ a select group to start over on the new earth. Norm Franz has a DVD called Report From Roswell: Unraveling the UFO/Alien Phenomenon that I think every believer truly, truly needs to see. It is only $14 at his website, or it does have permission to copy on it if someone has a machine that can make copies (mine only does CD’s). In this DVD, Norm uses the lens of scripture to examine things such as the alien autopsy, ufo sightings, and different cults that believe that aliens are our gods. Many of these cults have an end-times theology of aliens coming to earth to rapture us away!

What interested me in this video in the first place were all the recent blog discussions of aliens and how they could be demons. Most specifically was the discussion Ace had about the mating of the ‘sons of God’ with the daughters of men in Genesis 6. This discussion was a great example of why when we don’t understand something, we need to go back to the original languages. There is already so much confusion and so many false teachings because of the many Bible perversions that are sold (I’m not picking on anybody, just stating a fact). If you read this passage in the Hebrew, the translation is ‘heavenly beings’ or those who dwell in the realm beyond earth. This understanding is important for 2 reasons. First, we know they were not ‘christians’ because as I wrote last year, we did not have the power to become the sons and daughters of Yah until after the once-for-all sacrifice of the Lamb (John 1), who was called his ONE and only begotten son. Instead, a good way to explain it would be to compare the phrase sons of God with the phrase sons of man (or in this verse, daughters of man). The difference between them is the realm in which they dwell. Because some languages have only one word, like son, while others have several variations with different meanings, there can be something lost in the translation. That does not mean that the scriptures are translated in error, only our ability to understand them fully is at fault.

Secondly, we see here that they mating of these two created offspring. Anybody with any creationism training knows that two different species cannot mate together. Even before I knew what evolution was or was old enough to be concerned, I remember a Sunday school teacher saying that two species cannot mix, and this was good evidence that we were created special and stayed that way. The reason this is important is that many heresies were formed from the theology that Yah could not impregnate a woman, so that Yeshua was either fully divine or was fathered by someone else and Yah just orchestrated it. Obviously the sons of God, or celestial beings, looked like humans. This will be important later on, too.

In this discussion over at Ace’s blog, it was mentioned that many reports have been made by women claiming to have engaged in intercourse with (and sometimes being impregnated by) aliens (or demons). The importance of the head covering is discussed by Paul to be for the benefit of the angels, or heavenly beings, and the discussion went along the lines of wondering if that were to do with this joining of the two. The head covering serves as a sign that you belong to Adonai and are therefore off limits, so to speak. There is no indication in the scriptures that the sons of God cannot tell the difference between men and women, thereby necessitating a sign. Rather it would seem that in this explanation, the covering is a sign of belonging to Yah and his order of things, which makes you ‘untouchable’.

Remember also that Satan was at one point a good guy and that when he fell, he took 1/3 of the angels with him. If the theory is correct that what people are seeing as aliens are actually demons, or fallen angels, it poses some questions. When we talk of demons looking like aliens, or vice versa, we get a picture in our minds of weird looking creatures with big heads and black eyes, and it makes you wonder why anybody would want to have intercourse with something like THAT! Why didn’t the women in the Bible run screaming from the sons of God? Why didn’t the babies come out looking like science fiction characters (because the only difference noted in the Bible is that they were giants)? Why would someone today want to have intercourse with an alien?

And then I saw something in these Hollywood movies that made complete sense to me, kinda connecting the dots. In one, the aliens (demons) disguised themselves as humans. They were walking around just like everyone else until the end, when they took off the masks and ‘surprise’, it’s really aliens. There are plenty of people who say they are believers but who don’t know the Word, or who have mixed cultural Christianity with so many other things that there is no longer a label for it, so it wouldn’t be a surprise if they believed that ‘God’ sent aliens in a spaceship to rapture them away (2 Timothy 4). But what about those who do know, because we are told that the deceptions will be so great that even the elect might be led astray. It’s hard to imagine church people lining up for a UFO ride, believing it was scriptural. But then I re-read 2 Corinthians 11, where we learn that Satan can disguise himself as an angel of light. Can he take on any disguise he wishes? What if the alien suits are the disguise and the demons really look like people, and will reveal themselves as such when they stage their own second coming? How else would you explain masses of people being deceived into thinking the devil was really the Christ himself (Matthew 24:5)?

Many, many people are expecting a rapture from this earth. Could it be possible that Satan will come first, posing as the Messiah, in the very same way? But surely we would know Jesus if we saw him. Well, how would you know? By the pictures painted hundreds of years after his death? By his charismatic personality and the miracles he performs? How will you really know him? What if the deception is crafted to look different to each person? The false messiah might look like the Mahdi to Muslims, the Maetraya to New Agers, and whatever people are expecting or believe in, including aliens. And he may look like Jesus to those who think they know him but don’t. We will know him as a true prophet if what he says happens, and if he follows the Word. In the same way, we will know the counterfeit by his failure to agree with the Word.

Not only do we need to know the scripture to know the signs of His coming, but we need to know the scriptures so that we can detect the fake! If Satan comes in disguise, he will still tip his hand by going against scripture, because he is by definition the lawless one. I have read recently that there is noting to prevent the return of Christ, but I disagree and think this is a dangerous heresy. We are given a list of things that must happen before our Christ returns. There are events like an increase in earthquakes, famine, and wars that are the beginning of birth pangs, but those have been happening all along. They can be hard to pin down as fulfillment of prophecy, and unfortunately many will see anything close to one of these occurrences as a sign. But we have also been given very specific, one-time events to tell us for sure of the times we are in. If we don’t know these, it can be easy to fall for what is given as a counterfeit.

BEFORE the return of Christ....
1. 2nd Thessalonians 2 says the son of perdition had to be revealed before Yeshua will return. I have not yet figured out how this works in with the pre-trib rapture theory (one of the reasons I don’t agree with it), but it fits perfectly with people believing the first thing that arrives on earth being the saviour. We know that false christs will arise first based on the chronology of Matthew 24.

2. Yeshua said that we will see the Abomination of Desolation before his return (Matthew 24:15-16). That means he will not show up and go to Jerusalem to the place of sacrifice first- the antichrist will. The antichrist will set himself up as the one to be worshipped rather than giving glory to the Father. There is also a warning that many will flee to the wilderness in Judea once the false messiah is revealed. If the true Messiah of Israel came first, what reason would there be for any of them to flee?

3. After the revealing of the antichrist, there will be tribulation like has never been before (Matthew 24:21-22). There will be no mistaking that we are in the tribulation. It also says the days must be shortened for the sake of the elect. If we have been raptured away to heaven, why does it matter to us how horrible things are on earth? Obviously, we will be here, both because of this promise that time will be shortened for our sakes, and because this sign happens before the return of Christ.

4. After the tribulation, the sun will be darkened and the moon will not shine (Matthew 24:29-30). The stars will all fall and the heavens will be shaken. We need to be careful of trying to fit something into this description that doesn’t go, because even the false christs will be able to perform signs. Yeshua’s signs will not happen until the signs above have happened (23-25).

5. Yeshua said when he returns, it will be like a flash of lighting across the sky that everyone will see at once (Matthew 24:26-27). He specifically said not to believe those who would say he is in one place or another. I used to think that we would all see it at once by TV, but that doesn’t make sense because the Bible says EVERYONE will see him coming. What about those without TVs? I think instead that the TV will be a means of deception, broadcasting the arrival of others in specific places, and people will go ‘here and there’ to see him. Yeshua specifically said not to do that.

Given the number of ‘prophecies’ being circulated that aliens will come to earth to save us one way or another, and the expectation of many of the Messiah's imminent return, the ideas of Satan coming in a disguise and leading people to believe he is the true Messiah is not much of a stretch. Especially since so many don't know what to look for other than 'perilous times'. Rather than avoid these movies with false prophetic messages in them, I think we ought to know what delusions are being presented so that we can avoid them ourselves and hopefully help others who might be deceived. Unfortunately, many in the church believe one of three things about demons:

1. They are not real.
2. They are real, but do not exist in our realm.
3. They exist in our realm, but cannot touch or affect us.

All three of these theologies are wrong. To prove it, read 1 Peter 5:8, Ephesians 6:11, and James 4:7. The devil and his army are real, and they are working feverishly to try and take as many away from salvation as they can (Revelation 12:12, 13:7). What easier way to deceive the world than to take the little bit of knowledge they have of something and twist it into a shape they don’t recognize as darkness? Satan has long taken that which Yah made and tried to counterfeit it...why would the Second Coming be any different?

UN Convention on the Rights of the Child

2009-06-30T17:09:00.000-07:00

I have been reading a lot about this document from Home School Legal Defense lately, and what I have read has all been scary in that it would not only take away the rights of the parent, but also of the US to determine child safety laws. Those who are pushing it in the US say it would not jeopardize homeschooling, but it is happening right now in the UK. Anna has some posts about it already, so to avoid duplication, I will just put up links.

Warning from HSLDA
Who to contact
Is your congressman a sponsor?

I did try to call Ambassador Rice, and the phone is still off, so I went looking for the address of the UN building. Here is the address, and the letter I sent if you would like to copy it (obviously you might need to take out the foster parent part). I dated it July 4th and will wait to mail it then as I felt that the perfect day to send off my opinion on the idea of giving away American freedoms.

Ambassador Susan Rice
c/o United Nations
1775 K Street Suite 400
Washington, DC 20006

July 4, 2009

Dear Ms. Rice,

I am writing to you regarding my serious concerns over the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. As a foster parent, I certainly have a great deal of regard for the protection of children and their rights to safety and happiness. What I disagree with is the notion that our nation, pioneers in the advancement of child protection laws, educational standards, and equal opportunity, would need to take a step backward and join a convention that would not only supersede US law, but have absolutely no benefit to our society whatsoever. The Child Protection system in our country is not broken. What is broken is the ability of parents and teachers to keep kids safe because of those who already do whatever they wish with no regard for the rights and safety of others.

In the US, we see the ill effects of advancing the ‘rights’ of children who do not have the maturity to make such consequential decisions. Already we have schools full of children who cannot be controlled because they have learned that those is authority do not have the power to make them behave. The CRC gives a child the right to refuse to follow any rule or regulation that he may find ‘stifles’ his creativity. Were we to adopt the CRC, the stripping away of parents' rights to train their children would leave all of society very similar to that of many High Schools, where the few adults present are token caretakers and the children, not mature enough to be responsible and yet protected by their right to free expression, would be free to engage in whatever behaviors they desire. And who will take responsibility for the outcome? Surely not the parents, whose very rights to teach those children right and wrong have been relinquished to the UN!?!?

You have stated that the failure of the US to ratify this convention would be a disgrace. What would be a true disgrace is the handing away of US sovereignty to the UN for no purpose other than making nice. If you personally desire to be ruled by a patron, move to Europe and one of its many EU member states. Leave to the US, the birthplace of freedom and countless great reformers, the determination of what is best for the best. We fought for our independence….it is not yours to give away.

Lover of Freedom,

Amy *****

I also contacted my congressman and told him he needed to step up like many of the other Ohio congressmen already did and protect what is not broken. If you read the studies and statistics, the problem is not with parents stifling their kids' creativity. The problems are in homes where the parents are either absent or too permissive. Giving kids a bill of rights will only increase the problems tenfold!

The Staus of Blessed Motherhood

2009-06-22T20:12:00.000-07:00

As any of you who have read here for long know, I have considered deleting the whole blog for some time. I believe the hour is late and there are grave issues to be watched closely. As a mother of young children, I don't have the time to devote to researching and reporting on these issues as they ought to be covered. I also feel the need to start pulling back and concealing as much as we can about our life.

I was also faced with a feeling of exposure when someone connected to my kids' past found my blog and was using the information found therein in a way that filled me with fear. It can be hard to remember that they are ours forever and legally adopted with no one who can lay any claim to them, but as someone who struggles with the everyday attachment issues, having anyone feel they still own any part of those kids shakes me harder than I care to admit.

The decision has been made, in conjunction with my husband, to leave the blog here, as we use cards for witnessing that bring people to this page and the gospel message. There are also many who ask questions about fostering/adopting that are easier answered once than repeatedly. We have deleted a great many posts in order to protect our kids and their schedules better. We also know that fostering and adopting kids is a calling, and regardless of the number of days left on this earth, there is a need for networking among those of similar convictions. As the world becomes more rebellious and decadent, our kids will be more drawn to the behaviors and people they were removed from.

I apologize for any broken links or missing explanations. Feel free to point them out and I will correct them as best as I can.

Lastly, the only true questions, and what everything I have ever written here points to, is where are you headed? Can you truly close your eyes and pretend that what is going on around you is merely coincidence? The is ONE true and Holy G-d who has laid out the end from the beginning for any who are willing to listen. Do not kid yourself about your standing with Him. He is only merciful to those who have accepted his offer of atonement- the blood of the Lamb. Don't wait until it is too late to find out you are lost.

Shalom,

Amy- mother of many

Fireproof

2009-02-22T02:01:00.000-08:00

We watched the new movie Fireproof last night, and it left me with a stomach ache that is still present this morning (even after Tums and water). I won’t give away the plot, but the gist is that when marriage gets hard, people find out what real love is- because it is not based on feelings. Real love is the choice to do what is best for someone regardless of whether they have earned it. It was a kick in the stomach to me for more reasons than the obvious.

Gary and I have had quite a rough patch lately. I will tell you that the stress of ironing out the details of the problem we’ve been working on for over a year are the precursor, but we also both know better than to use our spouse as a rug-beater. The movie was a reminder more than a shocking awakening when it comes to us, though, because we’ve discussed before that even when things get rough or we aren’t ‘feeling it’, we committed ourselves for life. What surprised me is how convicted I was by the movie over my attitude toward some of my children.

In watching the extras on the DVD, the director said a certain scene was the crux of the whole movie, because the main character (played by Kirk Cameron) realizes that the frustration he feels over his wife’s rejection is exactly the same way he has been relating to the L-rd. He cannot show her real love because he has not experienced it himself.

Ouch.

As much as I might argue in my head that our kids should feel gratitude toward all that we have sacrificed for them in order to fully accept and understand what the Father has done for them, the fact is that in my own mind, they don’t deserve such grace because they have not earned it. In light of what we saw last night, I am faced with one of two choices: either I haven’t experienced that unearned love myself and therefore don’t understand it, or I have and am being stingy in offering it to others. That is not a mirror I like looking in to.

I have let myself become a barren desert when it comes to one child in particular, and know fixing it will be excruciatingly painful. I have even thought to myself lately that I will not be in heaven because I cannot forgive her (Matthew 6:14-15) but have to honestly consider if being able to hold my grudge is worth the cost of my own forgiveness (and for so much more). Because I am so utterly addicted to the Father, there really isn't an option. I will not come before him like the man who was forgiven a large debt and yet refused to forgive another's debt.

More on the Nadya Suleman Story

2009-02-12T11:42:00.000-08:00

The more I read, the angrier I get, and I have not been able to get ahold of Anne Curry to let her know how discriminatory I felt her interview was in comparison to the other families who have had multiples, so I'll just put it here and hope some of those people who can't seem to say anything nice will at the very least know that the whole world does NOT in fact agree with their tirades.

First, for clarity, I do not agree with many of the decisions Ms. Suleman made. I am completely against IVF, as I wrote before, because it gives the doctor too much god-power. He could be throwing those embryos in the trash while pretending to implant them in order to force you into more cycles and more money. He could sell some of your embryos to someone under the table. He could use his own sperm without your knowledge. And don't give me the 'doctors live by ethical guidelines' speech, because you're the very same people who are condemning a doctor for implanting this woman to begin with. I believe in the sanctity of marriage and the sanctity of family- that both should involve a man and a woman, committed for life. And yet I find myself defending this woman against the culture of which she is a product. The culture that said you can have whatever you want and you don't have to do it the way it has always been done.

So, say someone wants a big family. Life-long dream. No progress the traditional way (married and trying to conceive), so we move to the advances in science to see if they can provide a solution. We do W+X and get Y, which is a baby. Repeat 4 more times, and get Y (except once when it results in YY). So we have a precedent here of W+X equalling Y. Even the margin of error resulted in only YY. So for a sixth time we do W+X, and get YYYYYYYY. Even people who work in statistics and probability will tell you there was no way to know that was coming. We have created a way to fiddle with the human body in order to get what we couldn't before- surely you had to figure somewhere it was going to backfire. You can't even buying an appliance without a warning that if you use it in a manner other than what the manufacturer intended it for, he will not be liable for what happens to you.

Then I keep reading comments about how a single, unemployed mother should never have that many kids- one is enough. Whoa! (so much for a woman's right to control reproduction, BTW!) If the problem is that she can't possibly care for all those children and give them what they 'need' (read: everything advertised on TV)because she is not working, then why subject even one child to a life of doing without? Feminism's jagged pill is that you have the right to demand whatever the world says is normal, but anything beyond that and you're on your own. If it is an ethical dilemma, what impact does the number of kids have? She would be just as 'unfit' to one child as to 14, no? So you're willing to pay taxes to support a woman with one kid, but that's the cut-off? You people are deranged.

On to the financial arguments. Ms. Suleman is currently living off of student loans. I'm still waiting for the point here. You mean that is different than the thousands of couples who take out loans to pay for IVF, or for overseas adoptions in countries who have made babies a commodity? That's different than someone who has a life long dream of living in a prestigious house getting a loan to pay for it? We are currently bailing out those people and their pie-in-the-sky mortgages, but the only person we can blame for such a 'scheme' is the lady who's dream was kids instead of a house? This is America- when we can't afford what we want, we charge it. We get what we want now and agree to pay for it later. And while we're talking about the financial aspect, isn't investing in kids a better risk than commodities? Kids appreciate. They will grow in value as they become old enough to work. Houses and cars depreciate. At least her investment makes logical sense! And she is using those loans to get the degree that the world has said she cannot succeed without.

Well, her house is too small. Does anybody remember the house the septuplets went home to? Or better yet, the homes our great-grandmothers not only raised large families in, but gave birth to those families in? If someone had 12 kids in an 800 square foot cabin today, they'd be taken away! Jimminy Cricket, we're sure lucky our government finally went against its own constitution to determine for us what is best, because we sure don't know ourselves. Of course, there would have been nowhere to put the kids taken into custody 200 years ago, because all the neighbors lived the same way. No wonder they were so miserably unhappy and our nation suffered a lack of inventors and heroes.

And finally, our country has 'progressed' to a point that people can condemn one another without ever meeting. Countless ~~quacks~~ psychologists have been paid to consult media moguls on the mental health of Ms. Suleman. Without any kind of clinical sessions or testing, they have given diagnoses ranging from an unhealthy preoccupation, to schizophrenia, all based on an hour long, edited interview with a journalist who focused on her own presuppositions to determine the questions. An interview with a woman who had just been through the most exhausting and terrifying experience of her life, both emotionally and physically. Bringing the argument full-circle to the first argument I made, in America, sanity is now subjective. G-d preserve us.

In Defense of Large Families; Revisited

2009-02-11T06:36:00.000-08:00

I find myself amazed at the timing of my previous posts to what has become nothing short of a media circus over Nadya Suleman, the mother of the set of octuplets born in January. I feel we as believers need to be standing up for this mother of many, and finding ways to offer assistance in any way we can. Some of the reasons why are similar to the post I wrote previously when so many were in an uproar over the Duggars having #17 (yeah, that long ago). There is quite a lot of talk going on about how the doctor should not have 'let her' get pregnant again when she had six children at home. If we begin using a limiting rule for some families, it won't be long before we are right behind China is controlling people's reproduction. But there are also some specific things I think we need to consider in this situation.

First, we need to be thankful that Ms. Suleman was willing to carry her babies, even at the risk of her own life, instead of employing selective reduction. When Jamie Lyn Spears announced her pregnancy, many mommy blogers wrote in her defense because she did not decide to end what most saw as an inconvenience rather than a human life. The same argument applies here. Both women were in less than ideal situations, and thought they made choices we don't agree with, the fact that they did not abort demands our thankfulness.

Secondly, there is something of a double standard when it comes to accepting multiples in America. The McCaughey septuplets were heralded as miracles, and their parents were not publicly attacked for not choosing to reduce. The Gosselin sextuplets were heralded as miracles, and their parents were not publicly attacked for not choosing to reduce. I have seen interviews with both of those families where they were asked if their choice to use fertility treatments was maybe irresponsible because of the risk of so many babies, and both families gave an unequivocal no, because the odds were so, so slim that it was never a consideration. The chances are higher for a woman pregnant with one baby to have complications than for a woman to end up carrying six, seven, or eight viable embryos. It's like saying people are irresponsible for going outside when there is a 1 in 1,000,000,000,000 chance they will be hit by a meteor.

Third, Ms. Suleman did not do anything sneaky or untruthful. The doctor did the procedure. And while many are upset that using 6 embryos was unethical, it would seem this was the same plan they had used for the previous pregnancies. None of those pregnancies produced more than twins, and that only happened once. Even with the chance there that all 6 might develop, no one could forsee two of them splitting into twins. How can we criticize someone for something even the medical community did not see coming? One doctor interviewed for his 'professional criticism' said he never implants more than three embryos, but if you use the same standard he is using to condemn this woman, he is just as irresponsible, because those three could divide into six, which is exactly how many were implanted into Ms. Suleman. Double standard.

Finally, the money for the IVF cycles was earned through working, where Ms. Suleman undoubtedly paid taxes. Why is it so crazy then that she be getting back some of that tax money in the form of support for her children who have special needs? People are willing to pay taxes to create 'special' schools to ship the 'special' kids to, but not to help support the home they live in? I totally don't understand that reasoning. Social Security may not be something we agree with or like, but the fact is that we are paying into it, and so long as it exists, we have a right to use it when we need to.

What it boils down to is this mother is being unfairly attacked because she wants children instead of a lifestyle, she sees many children as a blessing and not a burden, and she is not wealthy. But compare those criteria to the two previous families mentioned with multiples, and they are the same. What gives?

She is single.

And in what has to be the biggest hypocrisy in the news today, the country that told women they did not need men to raise a family has turned on a woman who decided to live just that. "Well, she shouldn't be getting donations because she chose to have the kids". As did the Gosselins and the McCaugheys. Even the media is biased- the same Anne Curry who grilled Ms. Suleman does cheerful yearly updates on the McCaugheys. In reality, the best sponsors for this woman would be the National Partnership for Women and Families, the ACLU, or the National Organization for Women- the very organizations who demanded her right to have children without a partner. But we all know how fickle they are, both demanding protection for that right to chose to be a single mother, and simultaneously expecting every responsible woman to have an abortion in a case such as this. You have to fit into the mold they created.

No, the support should fall to the church as a collective to take in this woman who so valued life as to preserve it at all cost. Churches should be finding a suitable house for this large family and offering not only to be round-the-clock feeding helpers, but also protectors, acting as a shield between the violent world and this young family. No one had a problem doing it for the other miracle babies.

***Just a note, I love both the Gosselins and the McCaugheys and in no way wish to criticize them or the support they were given. I merely think it ought to be just as liberally applied when the circumstances aren't what people want them to be.

Homemade Lysol

2009-01-27T11:12:00.000-08:00

With this being the time of year for sickies, I've been re-examining the stuff I use. Hand sanitizer and antiviral spray are great for times when you cannot easily get to a sink and soap (like at the fair or the zoo) or after using a public restroom (those things are SO not clean). But using them frequently can cause a host of problems, including hampering the ability to fight germs if the alcohol kills the good bacteria in the stomach and mouth. So while I'm not throwing away the sanitizer and I still carry a can of Lysol in the car, I wanted to find something that would work without so many side-effects. I was researching homemade hair treatments- of all things- and came across this tidbit of info about vinegar and peroxide:

Vinegar mixed with hydrogen peroxide (H2O2) is used in the livestock industry to kill bacteria and viruses before refrigerated storage. A chemical mixture of peracetic acid is formed when acetic acid is mixed with hydrogen peroxide. Vinegar is being used in some Asian countries in an aerosol spray to control pneumonia. A mixture of five-percent acetic acid and three-percent hydrogen peroxide is commonly used.

A few years ago we had a group of missionaries come and stay with us, and they brought the rotovirus. I had never experienced it before (or since, hallelujah) and found myself spraying the crib mattresses and the bathtub several times a day with either Lysol or bleach water. Both were offensive to the nostrils (because no matter what kind of fragrance they try to add, that stuff still stinks) and I'm sure a menace to the septic tank and the material being sprayed. Peroxide can discolor some materials, so be cautious, but generally when we're talking about sickie germs, it's the bathroom where they congregate most.

Buy an empty spray bottle and label it so that it does not get used for anything else. Then mix

1 part 5% white vinegar
1 part 3% peroxide
if you want, a few drops of fragrance

Turn the nozzle until it is the finest mist you can get. Spray on surface and allow to sit for 5 minutes. Wipe off if desired (like the toilet seat, not only because no one wants a wet tuchus, but also so you don't get it on clothes and discolor them).

Stupid Books

2009-01-06T13:23:00.000-08:00

I feel like a real heel writing this after Jeannie's supportive comment, but I have promised her to always be truthful about all of it so that she doesn't not go into it blinded like we did. Sometimes I really wish I could turn back time and change the decisions I have made in my life. Most notably (and guilt-causing) is the adoption of the four oldest kids. Nice people don't think that way- or at least they never admit it. What kind of a monster could regret taking on children who so desperately needed them? A monster who is completely wrung out and not even half way done.

When we realized in December that we were at the end of our rope with some of the kids and decided, against everything we believe in, to put them in school, we had a decision to make. Either we warn the teachers what is coming and by default give the kids the sympathy that allows them to get away with everything (as happened every time before) or we say nothing and allow the teachers to think we are just the worst parents possible. We decided on the latter, though we understood there came with it the risk that the teacher would be so concerned as to contact Child Services and there is always that nagging fear that they will remove all the kids while they sort it out. But we knew the other way had reaped only trouble, as the teachers would turn psychiatrist/social worker and try to force on us their opinion of how to parent these kids.

Always the victim, Nellie faked unintelligence on the placement exams, which landed her right back in third grade. I thought finally she was seeing the consequence for her actions, since she was bored already the first week. But she quickly found a way to make it work for her- continue playing dumb and you get special attention from the reading specialist, the math specialist, and the room mother/volunteer. And I know it is pride that made my first concern in all this that the teacher was secretly cursing both of us and homeschooling in general for creating such a dim-witted child. So with that bee in my bonnet, everything that has come up since has perturbed me to an all new level.

There are some Christian marriage guides that I own and have given to others as wedding gifts. I don't agree with everything in all of them, but find enough good to make them worth reading. I never agreed that it was necessary for a marriage to have 'weekend honeymoons' as often as possible. After all, no where in the Bible is there an example of parents leaving their kids with someone else while they took a romantic trip. Thousands of marriages survived without vacations. But when I read it this time, I was livid. Well, isn't that requiring a lot of people who have no one who can and or will care for their children? After all, I sent my boys to my brother's' house for one night last week and have had nothing but problems since. What if you don't have the money to go somewhere? Is your marriage doomed? This idea started to make me so mad I was ready to go toe-to-toe with the author. Or at the very least burn his book.

Then came the whole years-long discussion about moving. We've talked about how it might benefit the kids, but decided it wasn't going to benefit them enough to make it a priority in the decision. Our kids are likely going to turn out the same whether we give them a 'fresh start' or not. Then last night on a show I have started watching, the family announced they were moving and the reason was it was best for the kids. So I'm a selfish hypocrite, am I? Is what's best for the kids really the most important factor in determining the resat of your life? (all rhetorical- this family doesn't even know we exist) One of the hazards of this job is thinking the whole world is out to judge me.

And perhaps I should stop reading altogether, because I found myself weeping over Little House on the Prairie. I allow myself the luxury of reading these books in the winter, when the outside work is limited and there are many dark hours of the day. The way those girls not only respected but obeyed their parents made me jealous and angry at the same time. Why can't kids be like that anymore? Especially when they were rescued out of such evil circumstances? It it simply what Paul prophesied, that kids would be less and less obedient as time drew to a close? Is it all the pressure of society with the 'takes a village' crap and kids knowing the world will intervene on their behalf??? I don't know, but I can never see Nellie acting like Laura Ingalls and it ticks me off. There's a character in the later Little House books, Ida, who is adopted and is so thankful to have a family, she never asks for anything and is always cheerful. Instead, I have the true character we named her after- Nellie.

Down with books and happy endings! Seriously.

PS- at the risk of your own life, do not send me comments about how kids never really behaved that well. I have studied history enough to know what I'm talking about.

Shocked by the Bible is Awesome!

2008-12-31T12:04:00.000-08:00

Laurie is my online BFF, because she always challenges me and leads me to just what I had been searching for. I had not told her of this honor being bestowed upon her before, but now I am making it public because she has saved me so much trouble! Her recommendation of the book Shocked by the Bible interested me, so I ordered it. It was on back order so it has just arrived. I am now going online to order more copies. See, this book covers many, many of the topics I have been trying to hash out (for lack of a better term) with friends and family who are convinced that we have gone off the deep end. Contained within the pages of this book are many truths which I have long believed, with references and wording so precise, I will now just give copies of the book to those who think we are mad (read: legalistic).

For example:
*we sleep when we die rather than going straight to heaven
*Jesus did not declare all meats clean
*Adam and Even did not eat an apple (well, maybe, but the Bible doesn't say apple)
*Jesus made appearances in the OT (good grief- just read the first three chapters of Genesis!)
*Easter is in the Bible, but not how many think
*God was not The Father in the OT (which goes hand in hand with the misconception that we are all God's children)

And then there are some I didn't know (or forgot):
*God gave hemorrhoids as a punishment
*people were resurrected from the dead in the OT
*the Ten Commandments were written on the front and back of the stone tablets
*God has a body

I found the book for $15.63 at Amazon (thought it won't be signed by the author like the one I ordered) and plan to get enough copies to cover the first set of people on my list.

Honest and Up-Front

2008-12-11T19:58:00.000-08:00

Today we found ourselves somewhere I hoped to never be- at the public school, filling out enrollment forms. Not for everyone, but it is still a failure in my eyes. I am completely and fundamentally against public schools. I agree that they are a danger zone for foster/adopted kids, especially. And yet, there I was.

I agree that at this point in time like no other, giving the government control over any aspect of our lives is opening us up for a mess. But we felt backed into a corner. Because some of the kids are still so angry about the adoption, they refuse to do what we ask. Oh, they’re behaved in public because we won’t tolerate anything else. They aren’t even openly defiant at home- they will stare out the window, drooling as if they have no clue what I am talking about. I didn’t really worry about it- I’m a 3 R’s is plenty kind of mom, anyway- as long as they have the basics and can function, I don’t care if they never learn Algebra. I’m also not a worksheet mom or a five-hours-at-the-table mom. The only time I worry about worksheets is when we have to put together portfolios for the certified teacher to go over. But that was one of the problems- for three years now we have had to scramble, beg, and bribe to get the kids to do enough work at the very end of the year to have something to show for it. The teacher was starting to feel uncomfortable signing off when they showed so little progress.

Then we come to the eating- Nellie has been starving herself again, only to go somewhere else and eat like she hasn’t seen food in weeks. The exact same kind of food. She does this to try and control me because it worked before- she got the doctor to question the other kids about discipline and made me a slave by saying I was to give Nellie whatever she wanted, so long as she would eat. We stressed over that because we know the case workers remove all kids from a situation and then ask questions. It would be beyond what I could handle if they took Mags and the two babies just because Nellie was attempting a coup. But because she knows that, she has started using food as a weapon against me by threatening to starve if she doens't get what she wants. Then she makes her face look pitiful and moans a little, and someone verbally attacks me while scurrying to find poor Nellie something to eat. With her initial entrance into school, there is the risk of someone falling for it like just happened to us at our homeschool group. But I am hoping that the excitement and attention of being the new girl will carry her through until the teacher figures her out better, and that will in turn insulate the other kids from her need to rule.

I know that we will be opening our home up to the possibility of swearing, drugs, humanism, and who knows what, but the alternative has left our daughter with constant stomach aches and headaches because of all the stress. We have also lost a whole year on her- I was reminded of a promise I made to her, and I said I would follow through once I got Nellie straightened out. Here we are, a whole year later and nowhere closer to that end. Meanwhile, I have ceased to have a baby in the house and suddenly realize I have a very mature toddler. I no longer see the sense in sacrificing many to save one.

But I think most terrifying is the risk to my marriage. We’ve discussed this problem from the day the kids arrived her nearly 7 years ago, and for the last year Gary has pushed to put the hardest kids in school. I have always managed to talk him out of it, for the above reasons and more. But after another stunt by Nellie this week, we found ourselves screaming at each other in such a tone that I feared for our marriage. He is, after all, my priority both because it is the covenant that we carry with us all of our lives, even after our children are grown and gone, but because if we dissect our oneness, what do the kids have to model their marriages after? I finally had to stop. Just stop and yield. I told him it was his decision and I would support him. And he decided.

I made it to the car after signing all the papers before the tears finally escaped my tight hold on them. All the more heartbreaking was the reactions of the kids in question- one wept bitterly, promising to do whatever we asked in exchange for one more chance. The other two were excited, recalling the fun they had at school when they were there before:

“Remember when we would run up and down the isle of the bus and the driver would have to stop?!”

“My teacher always had a bucket of candy in her desk, and when I would ‘forget’ my lunch money, I would go get it and put the candy in my pocket!”

“If we find some money we can buy candy bars in the lunch room!”

“If you tell the teacher you don’t feel good, she’ll send you to the nurse. Then just tell the nurse it’s because you didn’t get any breakfast and she’ll go get you something to eat form the cafeteria!”

Not only have I failed, I have wasted my time. They may one day realize how great they had it here, but I can’t keep emptying myself trying to reach that end and leaving the other 4 kids with nothing because I’m all wrung out.

Two for One!

2008-12-07T19:28:00.000-08:00

I like to check the clearance racks at K-Mart every few months because they carry lines that tend to be more modest. Unfortunately what I found was a whole lot of skirts for $1 each, but they were sizes 3X and 4X, and they were too short to be modest on me even if I took them in. Still, I thought they were worth it for the material alone, and then suddenly I got one of those light bulb moments (you know, where you say 'Hey!' out loud, and the lady next to you backs away with her eyes as big as saucers).

So I got two of those skirts and brought them home. I turned them inside out and put the oldest two girls in them. Then I pinned them to fit all the way down and sewed them. It took all of 2 minutes. Then I cut off the extra, and fitted them to the younger two girls and pinned and sewed them. Viola! Four skirts. Even if you add a generous 25 cents each for thread and electricity, I still got them for 75 cents each. The girls love them- they wanted to wear them all down as 'under dresses' (I think they meant petticoats). And of course, as is built into the female DNA, as soon as they put them on, they had to twirl!

Reaching Our Kids

2008-11-28T09:59:00.001-08:00

We have had the discussion here and other places about just how to approach salvation in children, as there seems to be an awful lot of 'conversion' going on at VBS that ends up producing no fruit. I have told my children to not raise their hand and say a prayer, but rather when they feel something stirring, come to talk to us. I have known too many adults who struggled with the state of their salvation later.

Berean Wife has an article posted that is the best I have read yet when discussing the way to evangelize children. It is certainly worth the read- if you're busy, print it out and carry it with you to use during a down moment in your schedule. It should be required reading for parents.

The Same Day

2008-11-11T06:16:00.000-08:00

I did not write this because I wanted to have myself a pity party. I wrote it to help those of you who are considering foster/adoption to understand what may be in your future. I was totally blindsided by it, even though I had all the classes. Nobody is this honest in a classroom, especially when they need families so desperately. I'm not telling you not to do it, but just preparing you for what could be. I pray that it's not.
________________________________________________

Have you ever read The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder? I hadn't read it until a few years ago even though I had read the Little House books a lot when I was young. Somehow it wasn't in the set we were given and I didn't know it existed until we were making a genealogy chart for the library as a homeschool project. Now I read it at least once a winter, if not twice, because it is a reminder of how much I have. We have enough food to feed us, and if we were to run low, there are many ways to get more. I also enjoy the 'snowed in' feeling that winter affords, not having to worry about taking the kids out and having them try their manipulation. But rather than the peaceful break I am expecting, I find myself disgruntled almost immediately.

In the Long Winter book, Laura finds that being snowed in makes every day just like the previous, until time blends into a slow half-waking monotony. She finds every day to be just like another, and soon forgets even what month it is. I can really relate to that feeling, and it isn't just during the 'snowed in' months, but throughout the year, Regardless of what we try to do to make things different, it always feels like the same day. And rather than facing months of blizzards, I am facing years until the 'spring' comes.

Every morning starts the same, with the same kids who have been disciplined for getting out of bed and making a ruckus...getting out of bed and making a ruckus again. Because they cannot be quiet and stay out of others' things, we made a rule that they have to stay in bed until we get up. It's not like they're lying there until 11:30 or something, but they survive on SURPRISINGLY little sleep and as soon as those eyelids fly open, it's time to horse around. So that being awoken in the dark by banging and scratching puts me in a bad frame of mind right away. There are three who have real issues with keeping their hands to themselves, and I don't mean in the tickle and pinch kind of way. I have found them choking one another and tying things around one another's throats. So we have three kids who really need to be in rooms by themselves, plus four other kids and us, and only four bedrooms. The answer is that we are constantly moving people around, building divider walls to try and separate them (which they destroy by boring through the drywall and hurting one another anyway). The result is that the 'angry juices' are already flowing first thing in the morning.

Next comes the bathroom time, which costs a great deal of time. Because one child gets kicks out of using others' toothbrushes just to gross them out and be in control of their emotions, all bathroom time must be supervised. They resent being watched, so they will drag it out, or worse, pretend to have to go just for the attention of me sitting there staring for 20 minutes while other kids jump up and down with their legs crossed in the hallway.

We move on to breakfast, and any meal time is suffering here. We wait to see who will eat what is served and who would rather starve as a means of trying to control. But here it is not a matter of just eat it or go hungry until lunch. One of our kids specializes in getting people to feel sorry for her, so if she doesn't think she's getting enough attention, she'll starve for days and then someone from the general public sees her and freaks out. And as many times as I've tried to explain it to people, they just don't get it. One lady at our co-op went to the directors because she was concerned with the way we were 'treating' this child, both because she had to stand in the corner at school and because we weren't concerned enough over her poison ivy (which she rubber on her face INTENTIONALLY to get her way with sympathy). So we determined she wasn't ready to be in a group setting (after Bren had to help talk me down from sending her to public school just because I didn't want to be around her anymore) and my mom was available, so she stayed there (which doesn't happen very often but I was desperate). Turns out she ate like a horse, and it was all the foods she's been refusing to eat here. Of course.

Then it's on to school and the 'who wants to play dumb' game. Some days they are into it and fly through things so fast I can't keep up. Other days they are perfectly content to stare out the window and pretend the work is in Chinese. We take a break for recess, and then I have to pull out my metal list of who is grounded and who isn't, because the tire swing and riding bikes are off limits to those in trouble. This is also when I am most likely to fight with Bubby. He's a good boy, but his mental capabilities have been severely affected by fetal alcohol. We had to take him out of the speech/physical/occupational therapies he was in after the adoption because the county is in the middle of a transition, so Medicaid is still in his old name and wouldn't cover services (and yes, we have spent hours on the phone trying to rectify it, but until the county computer gets completely updated, there's nothing they can do). So taking what he did in therapy and what I know just as his mom, I make him do some therapy...which he hates. Some days he's compliant, some days he cries the whole time, and some days he falls into a crumpled heap on the ground and refuses to move. He isn't trying to be trouble, but he doesn't understand that by this point I've had all the stress anybody needs for a day.

Then after lunch is lay-down time. I generally look for something at his point to steel me, like a Bible verse or praise on someone's blog. But when some of the kids fall asleep, others silently go through their drawers and eat chapstick, steal stickers, or use a sibling's sock as either a handkerchief or toilet paper (another reason I will not do reusable tissues or TP unless it's absolutely necessary- they don't need permission to do it once or they'll do it forever). So half the time after-nap is spent disciplining again.

Then it's time to try and get some cleaning done. It is so hard to clean up after 9 people when only 2 of them can be trusted to help. Totally aggravating. But in order to make the others work, I have to stand over them, they move at snail's pace out of rebellion, and my entire day is gone. So they generally stand in the middle of the kitchen (out of reach of any food) while I work around them. By dinner time, I am spent. It's all I can do to get the food served without falling asleep. The dishes generally go in the sink for morning, and we head off to bed. I had tried putting them to bed and working for a while afterward, but because I was at the other end of the house, they would get up and go in my room to steal things, or try to strangle one another, or play in the bathroom until there was a flood. It's just easier to go to bed when they do so I can keep an ear of them. And after 5 hours' sleep, they're raring to go again. The same day over and over.

I used to make appointments for myself to get a break, since Gary gets to get out of here on a daily basis. I would plan to go to the movies every 6 or 8 weeks. They have a Tuesday special, and afterward I would go to McDonald's and get the chicken strip meal (with Buffalo sauce and coffee, of course). But I can't leave the house anymore, because those same three kids have started really taking advantage of Gary's near deafness and have pulled some really dangerous things with him just two rooms away because they know he can't hear them. It also doesn't work to get babysitters, because no babysitter is savvy enough for these kids. Our son told the babysitter once that he needed to go throw up and wanted to be alone, so he went in our room and shut the door. He went through our dressers and stole money and also broke my big jewelry box (a gift from my darling that meant a LOT) so we don't hire babysitters. It also doesn't work to send them elsewhere, because they get so wound up by being given free reign that they are uncontrollable when they get home.

So now I am a prisoner in this cycle that never ends. Every day is the same. I can't go anywhere without the kids, and when I take them somewhere, somebody interferes and we end up at home again, anyway.

Large Family Wisdom

2008-11-04T12:29:00.000-08:00

I don't have the slightest idea how to embed a banner, so you'll just have to settle for an old-fashioned link. If you have any tips, share them. If you don't, there's lots of great idea booty up for grabs. ;)

Homemade Chili Podwer

2008-11-03T14:01:00.000-08:00

I've always made my chili 'from scratch', though in the beginning I used canned kidney beans and later canned chili beans. When we discovered Mag's sensitivity to soy, we had to switch to dry beans. As time goes on, we seem to get deeper and deeper into the meaning of made from scratch, both because of hidden food ingredients that can cause an allergic person to become very ill, and because we are working toward being self sufficient.

Making-it-from-Scratch Monday

Homemade Chili Powder
dried chili peppers, ground

This is so ridiculously simple it is almost not worth posting, but sometimes the simple things still scare us because we're sure they must be complicated. You can make chili powder from any dried hot peppers, though cayennes and Tabascos do make a really nice powder. Around here the food dehydrator gets used nonstop during the harvest season, so I thread my chili's on lines to air dry. Then when needed, throw a few in the spice mill (which is a $10 coffee mill that I bought during the holiday sales last year) or use a mortar and pestle (which I love, but I think I love owning more than using it!). My old chili recipe is here and here's a wheat-free cornbread. I love soup weather!