tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2927437653449007593.post1642635491453038206..comments2023-07-03T03:52:25.347-07:00Comments on Blessed Motherhood: Foster Kids Rule the Worldmotherofmanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04877187218514833866noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2927437653449007593.post-39152392101729628582009-08-12T06:37:20.837-07:002009-08-12T06:37:20.837-07:00Gosh, it took me a while to get back here....
I st...Gosh, it took me a while to get back here....<br />I still say "Nanny Cams". It will show the truth and if you have her attitudes and behaviors on tape, she has no power. I took Charlotte to secular therapy for one reason. DOCUMENTATION. It is well documented through a therapist (or 11) that this child is capable of making up stories of abuse and neglect. When a child has suffered something, they can say it happened again years later, even if it did not because they have details of the experience. You are in a situation that requires defensive measures....nanny cam!!! In your main living area and hidden in her bedroom. Do not tell her they are there. It will eventually come out and even then she will not be able to control her behaviors all the time. It will show her being offered food and turning it down. I would NOT get whatever she wants at the grocery store. If she refuses to eat and becomes sick then she is "a danger to herself" with an eating disorder. Nanny cam! It will save your sanity as you will have proof of your innocence, whether you ever need to prove it or not, it will give you peace of mind. <br />About the threats to remove ALL the kids....when the womb was pregnant with Zach they told us if we did not take him, they would remove Charlotte. Our lawyer told us that was not true. If they were to come and TRY to take her we were to tell them NO (yes, she was still a foster child) and contact our attorney. Of course they never did. Zach was getting ready to be adopted by the bridge home parents when we decided to take him. Just letting you know they "talk a big game" to intimidate you. I am praying....again....Nanny Cam.~Bren~https://www.blogger.com/profile/14533891842002502385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2927437653449007593.post-1186520860676625732009-08-11T12:26:50.534-07:002009-08-11T12:26:50.534-07:00That sounds rough. I had no idea foster parents we...That sounds rough. I had no idea foster parents went through so much. I prayed for you when I read this. May God's grace continue to keep you my friend.Jennifer C. Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03577995017158917173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2927437653449007593.post-87590905243520254452009-08-06T08:50:13.442-07:002009-08-06T08:50:13.442-07:00GOODNESS! I don't know, but I will pray for yo...GOODNESS! I don't know, but I will pray for you!<br /><br />Thank you for being honest and truthful about all this.<br /><br />Many Blessings :)<br />AceAcehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01115714120919795927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2927437653449007593.post-15738368488665168262009-08-06T08:04:02.722-07:002009-08-06T08:04:02.722-07:00You're in a tough spot. The two we had couldn...You're in a tough spot. The two we had couldn't stay because of the same basic behavior and that was just before the eve of the final adoption. It had gotten to the point where we either turned out 5 good kids who still liked us or 7 rotten ones and never saw any of them once they moved out. And we had to send the boy away with the girl. It was one of the hardest things we've ever done and some days I really struggle with whether or not we did the right thing. The kids had been so damaged and twisted from such a young age, and even though we weren't in the foster care system, they still felt that they ruled the world. <br />And you have our situation but magnified in number and in time - you didn't give up like we did. I can only imagine what life is like for you on those bad days and on those good days as well. You're often in my prayers. I admire your dedication. May HaShem bless you all abundantly. <br />And if it were me, I'd consider moving to a state that would allow me to turn them over without abuse, injury, or whatnot. It sounds extreme but I know that there are states that simply allow you to turn over 'unwanted' kids. And it's not that they're unwanted, they're very wanted! They need some of the rules to change...Lisa Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00783229559728376486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2927437653449007593.post-80011067852262303932009-08-05T11:13:59.860-07:002009-08-05T11:13:59.860-07:00Ace,
You are very correct and very astute at perc...Ace,<br /><br />You are very correct and very astute at perceiving the possible dangers- these are conversations we have had many a time. Unfortunately, they won't take her back into care without cause. She does not feel that she is in danger and cannot give any incident of asube or neglect, and they won't put her into an over-crowded, under-funded system just because she doesn't want to do anything. Our only recourse is to have her admitted to Bellfair for a psych elvaluation, which is not an option because first off, that gives her the leverage of someone having authority over. We had a foster daughter admitted there once by order of the caseworker, and we had to go to daily parenting sessions and counseling (2 and a half hours away), and she wasn't even our kid! She was here 3 weeks, then after Bellfair was moved to a different home, but regardless, we had to go through all kinds of training on how to handle her fragile ego and what not to do. Secondly, I am 100% against secular counseling. Not only do they follow the humanistic teachings of such atheists as Freud and Jung, but they also feel they have the power to instruct parents in raising their kids, and if you don't 'obey', they can turn you in as well. We dealt with that before we adopted these kids, when counseling was mandatory. The counselor almost wouldn't sign off on our adoption because I admitted my intentions to homeschool.<br /><br />One thing that we can control (and have already done) is take them back out of public school. We had them in for the second half of last year because they were saying the reason they were acting out and unhappy was a result of having to be with us all the time. But we found out that wasn't true as the behaviors and attitudes got MUCH, MUCH worse by sending them to school. This is also where they had access to things we wouldn't allow, like drugs, pornography, and witchcraft. I now have my evidence that they do not improve when given 'breathing room' as well as documentation of their scholastic abilities, and plan to never send them there again. It was almost a necessry evil to send them to school, because we now have our evidence if anyone tries to use those excuses against us.<br /><br />Mike Pearl from No Greater Joy ministries had an article about why families shouldn't take in foster kids, and I always disagreed with him, but now I understand why he wrote it. And his advice to a family that had similar issue to ours was to send the kid back before he took the whole family down with him. But how do you do that? We've tried to get our son in every possible program, and they either won't take him because he hasn't been arrested yet, or they are private and cost a fortune!!!!! That's another system that is so over-crowded and under-funded that they don't have room for you until you hurt someone else.<br /><br />It's all very sad.motherofmanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04877187218514833866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2927437653449007593.post-47184869227542873292009-08-05T10:45:50.983-07:002009-08-05T10:45:50.983-07:00Amy,
I have to say that I would GLADLY hand over ...Amy,<br /><br />I have to say that I would GLADLY hand over that trouble maker and let her get a taste of being out of such a loving and caring home. Let the state take her. I would protect my marriage and my home and my other children, not to mention my sanity from her and put her in God's hands.<br /><br />I would NOT for one minute do any of this other crap that gives her victory. No, I do not have Foster kids...but I am WELL versed in rebellious and toxic people. She is NOT beyond saving, but I would not take the chance that she took the whole ship down with her.<br /><br />I would sit her down, tell her all this, pray for her and turn her over....like NOW! Before she decides that she enjoys making up tales of sexual abuse...<br /><br />God Bless you for all you do.<br /><br />Many Blessings :)<br />AceAcehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01115714120919795927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2927437653449007593.post-29925303793993100132009-08-04T19:45:24.353-07:002009-08-04T19:45:24.353-07:00Bren,
It was at our own agency's trainings th...Bren,<br /><br />It was at our own agency's trainings that we first heard of the idea of removing all the kids while investigating. Then we also had placements who were classified 'dependant', which meant that there was no evidence of abuse toward them, but they were removed for safety because of abuse to a sibling or another child in the house.<br /><br />I did find it interesting that the moms who have 'regular' kids were sympathetic, and the moms with adopted kids were mad!!!!! It's something that binds us together that we could never explain.<br /><br />I used to feel very secure because the caseworkers knew our kids and their history and how hard they would have been to place if we had not taken them, but they have all since moved on and none of the caseworkers there now know us. I had a go-round with one who called to let me know we had an appointment for the baby that needed changed. She didn't know me or the fact that we adopted that baby nearly 2 years ago but since they haven't changed her name in their computer yet, she still shows up as a county child and they are listed as responsible party! She was trying to tell me to make sure I let the caseworker for the kids know about the appointment change.<br /><br />NeeCee,<br /><br />You are totally right- it is all about being adopted. People say they want to make the world a better place for these kids by giving them a chance at a good family life, but then they sabbotage the heck out of that arrangement and the kids generally end up no different than they would have at home. So sad.motherofmanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04877187218514833866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2927437653449007593.post-66458086894084908032009-08-04T19:26:34.665-07:002009-08-04T19:26:34.665-07:00I wish I could say something encouraging or comfor...I wish I could say something encouraging or comforting but the system really does seem set up to be a no-win situation and continues o teac these children dependence and victemization rather than maturity andself reliance. I am so sorry.lauriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12361680728538303451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2927437653449007593.post-62481562560087428742009-08-04T14:45:39.898-07:002009-08-04T14:45:39.898-07:00Hi Amy!
This post really tore at my heart. Please...Hi Amy!<br /><br />This post really tore at my heart. Please email me with anything I can pray for!<br /><br />Miss talking to you, will email soon if I don't hear from you!<br /><br />Blessings!<br />Heatherrunningtothecrosshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09311425135649134602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2927437653449007593.post-60283018308968755982009-08-04T14:06:52.178-07:002009-08-04T14:06:52.178-07:00Oh H*LL NO!! I would get nanny cams all over the h...Oh H*LL NO!! I would get nanny cams all over the house. That is YOUR house and you are in charge. Somehow they think they have the upper hand. She has beaten you down...I have felt beaten down before. I think cause I am older I get back up and fight harder. What makes you think they will take them all? Who told you that? Our states may be different, but I would let those kids know that they can not rule your home.I would be thelling them "You are dead wrong...they will not take anyone form this house cause we are doing nothing wrong"...That girl needs some formal discipline!!!!! Oh and get those nanny cams set up...she will hate that!!!~Bren~https://www.blogger.com/profile/14533891842002502385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2927437653449007593.post-24189936504466305172009-08-04T13:52:10.882-07:002009-08-04T13:52:10.882-07:00AMEN!!! I walk that tightrope. Shane just lost 1/...AMEN!!! I walk that tightrope. Shane just lost 1/2 a pound since his last doctor's vist last month and they asked me about it. 1/2 a pound!! Good grief, he's a boy, he's swimming and playing and its hot, he lost 1/2 a pound, big deal. Because he's adopted, its a big deal. ::sigh::NeeCeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00764451925268091851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2927437653449007593.post-28977512902858148082009-08-04T12:11:40.645-07:002009-08-04T12:11:40.645-07:00That must be very hard and frustrating. I wonder ...That must be very hard and frustrating. I wonder how common it is for children to take it to such an extreme?Saved Sinnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05366387784640048630noreply@blogger.com